DON'T DWELL ON THE PAST

Note: I actually began building on the idea of this post since August of 2016, but never found enough of that will power to execute it. However, I guess it's appropriate now that since it's the new year, I should finally have this thought complete. I did something new and wrote this as a letter.

Dear Yesterday,

Must you carry me the weight on my shoulders and manifest like a Pandora's box of insecurities? I've grown to accept that over-thinking is the flaw of my nature. Being myself is what you've taught me to be the best option there is out there, and I've honed every bit of my individuality up to this day. You've brought me to cross paths again with several people I once knew, but also ones with baggage that slowly had me drowning in the weights of their despairs.

Throughout your past months I've picked off the burden from my shoulders and learned valuable life lessons that helped me become a much stronger and independent person. I never believed in rebounds because that would mean that I am just escaping from facing the demons of your reality. The reality of unanswered texts, being once stood up, and knowing that options do exist. You introduced me to the cruel society of today's "hook-up" culture and carried on multiple disappointing affairs. However, I learned over the course of your selfish time that "yesterday" is just an illusion. I can't alter a figment of my memory, let alone someone else's, which is why you must not linger onto me anymore.

Unfortunately, as much as I've come close to maintaining my sanity you challenge me once again with an idol from my adolescence. How must you allocate the time to come in between my journey into the new year? Your powerful manipulation leaves me to question my purpose and strength, sulking in moments of doubt and vulnerability. What have I done to receive such animosity, except for picking up and cradling a fallen piece from your yesterday? This delusion of crime confuses and angers me. I must hide away your scent so it won't reek havoc when I burst into cold sweat. How must I prove myself worthy of tomorrow now?

Eventually, I've come to realize that there is no escape from you, as it is your duty to taunt me of my everyday presence. Instead, what matters is the value of what tomorrow would bring and the destiny of what my future would hold. I can't dwell on your anxiety and feed on your selfish gains of pleasure from my distress. Without you I am nothing - you make me who I am. But with you there is lesson and reason.

Sincerely,

Today